First and foremost it’s not easy being a guy secondly this post is not to insult other genders it’s just a prespective of how I see myself as being one. It may defer to others but this post is open for anyone whom wishes to share by leaving a comment.
How often do you fall in love with someone that you know you’re really in love with her that little thing’s she does or say affect you in so many ways you don’t seem to understand. I’m at that state that it hurts me in many possible ways even if it’s just words. Words that affect your night sleeping, affect how you feel about the day and affect how you feel even about yourself.
You see I’m in love with my friend, my best friend, my girlfriend, my fiancee and my future wife to be. I come from a family that has the money to get thing’s done easily but the way I’ve been brought up is to live independently and to earn myself a living. I’ve never been spoon fed in a way that if I wanted something badly I could get it instantly. I have to earn out of my own sweat and blood to get what I wanted and be where I’m at today. Honestly my parent’s are the rich one’s they inspire me to work hard in life to earn a living of my own and to have my own family in my own way of living. They push me so hard that I sometimes tend to go crazy because it’s way beyond my capabilities but I’ve been tested everyday and every now and then so I don’t forget how to live a difficult life.
I go to school like every normal average kid when I was young. I wasn’t even given pocket money to eat at school that is how I sustain myself at work from not eating and only eat at home once I’m done with work if I’m fortunate enough I’ll bring home cooked food. I suffer as most of us suffer and I had to work part time as a student to support myself and my daily needs. After completing Seccondary School I moved to Junior College which was one of the most toughest part of my life but I managed to sustain myself. I work 4 different odd jobs to support myself with school and the thing’s I want to have in life. So I worked hard for it as a aircraft cleaner, F&B back to back Burger King and McDonald’s, retail associate at HomeFix and a part time care giver for the elderly giving back to society. I worked hard miss some classes study while I was working to achieve what many kid’s or teenager dream of but never tried working for it. So I achieved one which is getting a bike license.
Bought myself a crappy Yamaha TZR 250 which I spent building it to what it was back in it’s era. Talk about tough that’s what I wanted and that’s what I had to work for in life. People tend not to see the hard work I’ve done but look at what I have and the thing’s I do to quickly judge me the way their eyes see’s thing’s but it’s never like that and the only thing I wish for was them to ask me how did I manage this at this age. Slowly from there I started to excel and felt determine to how I wanted my life to be understanding what it means to work hard and save for what I wanted back then at that age 18 years old I didn’t even know what life investment was so I just did what I did was right which is save and continued saving and upgrading myself.
A year had passed I got a class 2a license for me to ride 200cc to 400cc and bought myself a Aprilia RS 250 a dream bike I couldn’t stop dreaming off especially the RS GP. So I got the bike and it was worst bike to maintain but it’s the bike I wanted and I had to do what I had to do kept workinf and studying passing my exams and completing my semester and I left college and decided not to study anymore and got myself enlisted in national service.
This was the era that completely changed my life. I became a police officer something I never expected myself to be and I was so good at it. I really put a lot of hardwork into my job and it become a passion and I signed on as a regular officer and served for nearly 6 – 7 years of my life to it and left when I felt I was done. Seen a lot and I’ve done a lot. In between those year’s I owned myself 3 bikes, a Honda CB400, Suzuki GSX, Kawasaki ZX10R. How I managed is something that I had to learn the hard way thanks to my parents for making it as difficult as it can be for me up till today in my living life all the things I wanted I had to do it on my own be it what, education, lifestyle, hobbies. All of em the hard way they didn’t gave me a single cent because they want me to earn a living and that’s what they thought me. All the beating and scolding I get when I was young it’s all worth it when I think it through as a adult today. Without them teaching me the hard way I wouldn’t have known or be what I am today.
I had to pay for everything I wanted on my own, worked hard for it. Even my diploma which cost me nearly SGD 20k I had to do what I’ve learnt still. It’s a skill set a school nor a qualified teacher could teach. It’s how you’ve been brought and how your parents teaches you. I managed and till today I’m still managing my life despite losing my license back that for something reckless that I’ve done. Long story short, love hurts in every way that’s possible.
I picked myself up almost gave up until I met you someone whom truly see’s me for who I am and I have to thank her for pushing myself till date also.
She have done so much to hurt my feelings in every way but yet she’s always there supporting me in every way. Weird much right. She’s the pillar to my strength and all the motivation I have in life comes from her my friend, my best friend, my girlfriend, my fiancee and my future wife. Really she is one heck of a woman. She drives me nuts making me feel everything I’ve done in life is and was a mistake but she’s still standing there watching me close by as I do the things I do as a guy. I worked to so hard to achieve thing’s people don’t see or know that they could do it themselves if they had the drive or the motivation because we are all capable of doing and achieving thing’s if we wish to do or achieve them.
She may not understand the thing’s I do at times nor see the big picture to what I am doing too at times but I hope one day she does of if she manages to find this blog or post then I hope she’s reading this with a smile on her face. It’s not easy being a guy because you have the urge to statisfy everyone including yourself in life. Sometimes the way she act towards me is making things hard and difficult for me. It’s a pressure I cannot take sometimes. The things she say may sound mean to me but she has a views on things in her own eyes it shows she cares but still there are certain things I hope that she doesn’t make it so hard on me that it hurts and stresses me up to the level that I really couldn’t take a hold/grip of myself. It drives me nuts sometimes.
All I’ve ever done in my life was to be better and better at what I do and how I live my life. There is not a word rich in me because I was never given a cent as a child from my parents and I wasn’t brought up that way by my parents. I had to go through life the hard way and earn my own living.
So what’s hard about being a guy? It’s really damn hard because people push you around to much. Push you over your limits, pushes you till your tears come out from your eyes not because you’re sad or hurt but because people don’t see the life you live and people just keep on pushing and pushing and pushing without realizing how much it pains you despite you trying so hard yet you are being pushed to yout very limits. Now that’s how hard it is being a guy. We don’t often show or express ourselves but we guys too have our level of limits and I hope everyone out there if you’re being pushed so hard to your very limit hang in there. It’ll be over sooon.